Meeting Alice

Hello, Alice, it’s nice to make your acquaintance. Please take a seat, I’ll beg for your patience. Dormouse, Please get her a hot cup of tea. And don’t spill, my dear, it’s mahogany. From what I remember, we’ll be fast friends I mean, silly me I hope we’re fast friends. I’m mad, you see, I don’t often make sense. I make hats but never—no never, not sense. Subtlety is not a skill of mine. Rather my art is the overwhelming kind. You’re late, you know, you silly badger —and looking much too small— smaller than last time, I wager. You see, silly Alice, we’ve already met. Oh no, there it goes, my glass in my lap. You were much more muchier last time, but don’t fret. There’s plenty of poisons and ‘coctions for that. A raven is like a writing desk, Alice. Would you like to know why? I haven’t the slightest. Someone, anyone, get us more tea! Oh, I fear the girl cannot understand me. It comes down to this, Dear, and this thing alone: You have lost your muchness. You’ve left it at home. But fear not, Alice. Don’t fret–I’ve got more. A hat always turns you to less of a bore. There’s a hat for that. A hat, you see, that makes any dear bloke as big as Red Queen. Yes, Dear Alice, yes indeed. Soon—one day—you’ll be big as Red Queen. Oh, hush, mad bad Hatter—all of this talk. I’ll make a hat as fiery as a Jabberwock. A Jabberwock, yes —clean cup! Clean cup! Alice is late, but the time is not up

By Anne DeJonge